Burn Out

You are living through a pandemic. Let that sink in.

Wiped out? Anxious Days? Finding it hard to stay optimistic? Sleepless nights? Can’t Focus?

Perhaps the title of today’s blog was a spoiler … these are all signs of burn out. Other cues to watch for are exhaustion, depersonalization, and really a decline in personal accomplishment.

Let’s revisit why & how we get so worn out so that we can then navigate how we can better take care of ourselves.

What about work tends to wear us down? 

A study by Stanford University followed a group of Women Berkeley MBA Alums, beginning in 1987. Charles O’Riley founded an algorithm to predict who was going to be the most successful. For the purpose of this article I will define success somewhat narrowly by earnings, advancement and promotions. The computer guessed that a certain group were going to be the most successful. And indeed, the computer was right, at first these women were the most successful, in high power jobs, earning the most initially. But what they discovered over time as they continued to follow them, this group of women who were the most successful initially where also the ones who were dropping out completely and at higher rates. Should the study had stopped after a few years, it would show these women are maxing out on their career potential. But as the researchers follow them, we see that they are seeing so much burn out, that they “opt out” or drop out and they were seeing that as more attractive than other options, such as job craft. I talk a bit more about job craft, and what it is and how we can use it in the context of avoiding burn out further below.

Research shows us that women are the people who are asked to do “more” around the office for example clean the coffee pot, be the emotional support for a coworkers; women take these on because of expectations who should be dealing with it but also because of heir natural proclivities, so they are taking on more at work in addition to historically taking on more household activities and continues to burn out.

Opting out.

Women historically have had more opportunities that are outside of getting to the c-suite and so its also been generally perceived as more accepting to have an alternative path such as a small business, go work for a client company, stay at home with kids, write a novel and so on. These pathways have been perceived as more acceptable for women than men. 

Chronic stress.

Stress has a psychological profile that differs from burn out and is quite functional if you think about it. When you have a ton of stress your body shuts down and gives you clues that too much, it tells you “hey, get some sleep!” Its helpful in telling you to change something in order to perform better.

When experiencing burn out (related to chronic stress, but different) people keep going and do not stop with those same clues that stress gives you. The symptoms can be slower in developing and therefor people keep going and push through resulting in a chronic stress state. 

So now that we know just a little bit about how burn out shows up, what it looks like and why let’s look at a few of my personal answers on how to manage it; some small and some larger shifts that can help.

Sabbatical.

Some corporations have a sabbatical program, in my opinion more companies should be incorporating this option into their Health & Wellness Plan for employees. There is so much great research that shows us that when employees have meaningful work and are given the trust and resources in a safe psychological working environment, productivity goes up and safety incidents including missed days and turn over go down. A sabbatical allows the employee to step away from their day to day responsibilities and do a deep dive into another aspect of their work, recharging their batteries and rebuild skills that perhaps are lacking when you’re so overwhelmed with an experience that is creating that burn out. What’s interesting about this possible answer is that you are technically still working, its not as though you are pulling the cord and laying on a sofa. At S&Co we call “Job Crafting”. You focus on another aspect of your job or interest that maybe hadn’t been receive as much attention but that’s still with the domain of your work – but maybe isn’t’ going to give you that synoecism that comes with burn out. Maybe you can change the environment that work happens, or when it happens. For example, fitting your work out in during a time block that typically falls into the working “9am – 5pm so that you have more time at home with your loved ones after quitting time. This is a form of selfcare that is a an immensely important topic related to avoiding burn out. You can’t just leave and expect that things will be different when you return from a sabbatical; you need to really think through how you are going to change some things about yourself and the situation so it doesn’t happen again when you go back to work. 

Sleep.

Sleep researchers have been putting forward this data for decades. If you want to come into the workplace as your best self, you need sleep. What is does it look like to be your best self? For me its solid interpersonal relations, doing my best work, performing well and having a high level of engagement and creativity.

Your own personal advisory board. Yes, you’re that important.  I’ll use the metaphor “The Fish in Water Effect”. Essentially it means that you are in a fish bowl and swimming in the  water and you don’t know you are in the water; it takes someone outside of the fish bowl to look in and say “hey that water is really dirty”. That’s when its helpful to have a “Board of Advisors”. These could be friends or family, trusted colleagues at work, partners, who can look in and say hey “I’ve seen this before, I’ve seen you go down this road.”. You look fine on the outside, but we know you’re heading down that road of burn out again and feel emotionally exhausted. So, aside from sleep, find that group of people who you trust who can rejuvenate you.

Belly laughs.

It’s a thing. Research by a health community epidemiologist researcher shows us that Belly Laughs at work are a great indicator of a lot of things including the strength of the relationship you can draw on. It is a cheap & natural form of medicine. When is the last time you had a really good belly laugh?

Gratitude.

We are leaning a lot about how gratitude and how it shows up at work. There is a fair amount of research behind it showing it helps with emotional regulation. For example; when something that comes up that makes you so mad or frustrating you can reframe and say “I’m so grateful for ……..” helps enormously. Its better than suppressing and avoiding those feelings.

Avoidance.

How do you deal with those annoying or toxic colleagues (yes, they exist) – avoidance is actually a proven strategy. If there’s an opportunity to work from home or take an office a little further away, this would be a time where you can raise your hand to help reduce exposure to this person who is contributing to your burn out.

So how do you know it’s working and that you’ve turned it around?

For me personally the equilibrium was where it should be at work, I was starting to feel empathy for my clients ands staff again, and the symptoms I had were dissipating (less yelling at my kids over spilt cheerios) and my engagement was on the rise with clients and colleagues.

How do we make sure Burn Out doesn’t make a come back?

Introspection. What is important to you and your values? There is solid evidence showing that above a certain point, money doesn’t matter; and that certain point really varies depending which part of the world you live in. What are your values? Start thinking about having one set of values rather than one set for work and one for life. For some people, their work has so much meaning and purpose that they are willing to put up with a lot more toxicity in the workplace environment than other people. You must follow your north star. At some point if you see that what you’re doing isn’t purposely and progressively getting you to your north star, ask yourself if you need a change.

We know that not having enough time for the people and things that we care about can lead to burn out. So many women are finding themselves in this position right now. They are stretched thin, distracted, and barely keeping up. But finding that time, or yet making that time, for the activities and people we love, is really a form of self care. 

Self care is not just face masks and spa days, but really, your well being and happiness – do I have enough time to spend time with my loved ones? Do I have meaningful work? Do I feel as though I have control over my time and what I’m doing with it? How does selfcare fit into your life and is it important?

Until next time, take care of yourself & each other.

Carly.